What is mindfulness?
I wondered about this question while preparing for Rachel Singh’s eight-week ‘Mindfulness for practitioners’ group, held at Phoenix Therapy Practice. I had already learnt a bit about mindfulness some years ago, and now saw it as more than just another word for meditation, as I’d first believed it to be. I was thankful for that: I wasn’t very good at meditating!
Rachel had asked us to think about how much time we could dedicate to the practice. I bought a notebook, to fill with… what? I felt a flicker of excitement for the unknown, new connections and learning, of something for me. My life, although rich in many ways, is full of taking care of others. But how much time could we commit? Is mindfulness not something to interweave seamlessly into our day-to-day lives? My notes read, Do you ‘do’ mindfulness? Or ‘live’ and embody it?
In the first session, Rachel explained that there are two sides to the practice – formal and non-formal.
The former does include meditations, but often for a specific length of time, and as we progressed, sometimes with a goal in mind, such as letting go of a negative feeling which is no longer serving us. There were other meditations to energise and invigorate, and we tried mindful movement. Non-formal mindfulness includes being present in the ‘now’, being aware of life through all five senses, and stepping out of our automatic behaviour, with intentionality. I understand it as, How can we change anything, if it is not first acknowledged?
The weekly sessions were like a balm for the soul. Is it mindfulness which has imbued our facilitator with such warmth? The space felt safe and non-judgmental, with her gently checking that each of us had whatever support we needed. During the intimate two hours we began with a meditation, and at the end, we were asked whether we would like to share our experience. There was never a rush and each of us was thoughtfully responded to with insights to help us reflect upon our personal journeys and how we might grow.
Each session included a short, meaningful story for us to think about, or a symbolic poem. There was sometimes a writing exercise. We shared only what felt comfortable. We were guided to connect with, and sink into, our bodies, so long as that felt safe. We observed our thoughts and feelings. Some of the work was difficult. We practised. Our evenings concluded with another meditation, and I invariably left the room feeling calmer than just two hours earlier.
We had (optional) homework, of both the formal and non-formal varieties, and had different experiences of this. While some of us almost shunned the idea of set tasks, but leaned in towards the non-formal parts (‘being more in being mode while in doing mode’), I wondered why I enjoyed, what was, in essence, being told what to do. Did I need permission to do something I was finding fulfilling? Or could it be that I just liked meditating, after all? I was beginning to get the hang of it.
To get the most from the course, I compelled myself to slot the meditations into my life. This could be while waiting in the car (one meditation was only three minutes long), during restless nights when sleep was just out of reach, or – the best times – sitting outside, in the countryside, or on the beach. Consistently playing the tracks, and hearing Rachel’s soothing and now-familiar tones, became comforting, and I am finding it easier to sink into body awareness, letting go of the ‘to do’ list in my head, and even sometimes feeling almost a bliss-like state. Unwanted thoughts still appear. I do get caught up in – sometimes bizarre – internal dialogues, but it is becoming easier to acknowledge them, and to let them go.
Three weeks into the course, for the first time, I felt resistance to homework. Whereas we had previously been encouraged to notice pleasant or positive experiences and events, now we were to concentrate on the difficult ones.
‘What’s the point of it?’ somebody asked.
A good question. Why would we want to attend to ‘bad’ experiences? As therapists, in particular, if we are unable to be comfortable with the spectrum of feelings involved with being human, how can we be with our clients’ discomfort and pain? Learning to wholly feel and accept whatever feeling comes up, rather than passing it by unacknowledged, or – dare I say it – suppressing it, is surely a skill we must hone to be congruent, to be psychologically well.
Having believed I already knew a lot about mindfulness, and was already living a (fairly) mindful life, this is when things changed, as my horizon began to open up to new – and rocky – internal landscapes. The most arduous paths often lead to the most rewarding views.
We were introduced to the ‘Mountain meditation’ in Week 6, with the theme of Resilience. From the Lake District, I had competing memories of mountains or ‘fells’, and I found it tricky to select just one. A few minutes into the meditation, the process became easier, as we were asked to begin to embody the mountain. This felt oddly comforting, grounding. As we were led through a world of ever-changing seasons, of beauty and defoliation, the message I heard was that despite this inconstant vista, sometimes fertile, other times, barren, the mountain remains stable, strong and constant. We can be that mountain.
I reflected upon this with my friend later. He said that in our role as therapists, we support clients in reaching their summit. That may be so (or it may not be so). I can’t help but wonder where you would go once you reached the top… We might help to navigate difficult turns with the client. Some places in the track may be rough, even frightening. We may visit dark valleys below – a little less terrifying when you are not alone. And then one day, we may marvel at surprising and splendid views we are shown. As a therapist, I feel like a fellow traveller, privileged to walk alongside somebody during part of their life’s journey.
To conclude, I would highly recommend mindfulness to therapists, clients, and anybody who is curious. My understanding of mindfulness has expanded. Although, realistically, I will probably let my practice slide at times, without the regularity of weekly sessions (and the homework!), the course has changed my outlook on life, and become, at least partly, integrated into my way of being. I am more able to observe my behavioural patterns, and so change them, which is leading to improved relationships. Meditation is giving me a greater sense of peace.
Rachel personalises her teaching, and your take-aways will be unique to you.
I wonder what your experience of mindfulness will be…
Written by Eilidh Horder
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Rachel Singh will be offering this course to clients in late April 2025 – please email us at info@phoenixtherapypractice.co.uk if you would like to receive further information when it is available.
Mindfulness Resources
Apps: Insight Timer, Plum Village App
Books:
* Mindfulness, Finding Peace in a Frantic World – Mark Williams
* Mindfulness Full Catastrophe Living by Jon Kabat Zinn
Free Meditation Audio: https://mindfulnesswithrachel.co.uk
